Giving Children Their Independence - How Soon is Too Soon?

I just read an article about a woman in New York whogood thing, but only if your child is ready.
let her nine-year-old make his way home alone via theHow do you know if he's ready? Ask yourself some
subway and a cross-town city bus. I'll admit I was a bitquestions. Is he comfortable speaking with adults other
flabbergasted when I read that. Of course, I've neverthan his parents? Does he know how to ask for help
been to New York, so my images of that city comeor directions? Can he shout, "You're not my parent," if
mainly from episodes of Law & Order, wherean adult tries to grab him? And finally, does he even
brutal crimes occur almost daily and children arewant to try something new? Sometimes we push our
abducted on a regular basis.kids to do things before they are ready, simply
The author argued that children who are coddled andbecause their cousins are doing it or their friends are,
overprotected grow up unable to do anything andand we, the parents, can't stand to be left behind.
afraid of almost everything. It's true that my brotherThe key is to find a happy medium between
and I had the run of the neighborhood by around ageoverprotecting your child (e.g. the grandmother who
seven, and we didn't have to report in; we just had toforced her mortified 12-yr.-old grandson to come into
be home by a certain time and that was that. But thatthe ladies room with her) and throwing caution to the
was the sixties and I honestly think the world haswind (allowing your 9-yr.-old to wander the streets of
changed, and not necessarily for the better.New York completely alone.) Watch your child for
On the other hand, it's great to give your childsigns of readiness and then give him the chance to
opportunities to demonstrate their independence andstrike out on his own, gradually at first, with mom or
gain self-confidence. Whether it's going to a publicdad nearby for backup. Then, when the time is right, let
restroom alone or crossing the street to play with ahim loose.
neighbor, these little steps toward self-reliance are a