| The divorce is finally over. | | | | Order. Usually, when there's been a difficult relationship |
| No more fighting over who gets to keep the home | | | | between both x- spouses, one spouse will not permit |
| and other real estate. Those leather couches, and the | | | | the other to take the kids out of state, much less the |
| expensive art hanging on the walls of your summer | | | | country. In these situations, the former spouse may try |
| home. A drop in the bucket compared to the company | | | | to use your desire to move as an opportunity to get |
| that both of you slaved over to build or the family pet | | | | money from you. The usual offer is that they'll let you |
| that made your kids so happy. The whole process | | | | leave the state, if you agree to drop all child support |
| almost landed you in Bankruptcy Court. But even now, | | | | proceedings or any existing child support court orders. |
| all that looks small compared to the most important | | | | If that happens to you, the most logical step is to go to |
| issue of all: child custody. But hey--all of this is over. | | | | Court. Normally, a Family Court Judge decides whether |
| Resolved. Now you can breathe a sigh of relief. | | | | or not the relocation out of state with the child would |
| You've probably been wondering about your future - | | | | be allowed. |
| without your x. Yes, being single again definitely has its | | | | It's your choice--use your voice. |
| benefits. Maybe you're going out more, enjoying life, | | | | Understanding the practical reasons behind the legal |
| and watching your diet. It's those little things you haven't | | | | challenges that you'll face, are easier to accept when |
| enjoyed in a long time that suddenly make life worth | | | | you fully appreciate the intentions behind them. The |
| living-again. | | | | way the law sees it, in you taking your child outside of |
| Most people who choose divorce and feel this kind of | | | | the state of New York, you are effectively denying |
| relief, are -in the end--happy with the decision they | | | | your x-spouse their visitation rights. In turn, this basically |
| made. What you both needed was peace. And now | | | | deprives your former spouse of a meaningful |
| you have it. And happy to have a new chance to find | | | | opportunity to maintain a close relationship with your |
| that RIGHT special someone to build a life together. | | | | kids. Now you may say that your x-spouse is |
| But that's not where the story ends. You might wake | | | | welcome to visit anytime, or that you'll send the child |
| up one day, and feel like changing your life completely. | | | | back to New York anytime that your x wants. And in |
| Maybe you decide that your financial security and | | | | order to do this you may ultimately be prepared to |
| personal happiness are somewhere, anywhere other | | | | drive the kids cross state lines, both to and from your |
| than where you are right here and now. Somewhere | | | | former spouse's home (like taking a cross-country |
| outside of New York you may be thinking. Maybe a | | | | road trip every weekend). Maybe the fact that your |
| better job is waiting in another state. Maybe you have | | | | move would make it much more difficult for your |
| health reasons or better yet, a new relationship. A | | | | former spouse to exercise their visitation rights does |
| voice deep in your heart keeps telling you to move. So | | | | not entirely dampen your desire for geographical |
| maybe you do need a new start: to realize your | | | | relocation. However, you should understand that a |
| dreams, to focus on your career, and to build a new | | | | Court must seriously consider the well being of the |
| home. You have every right to want to leave the old | | | | child first and foremost. Specifically, they consider the |
| memories behind. But how can you do that when you | | | | following seven issues: |
| see the same places you once shared? And with | | | | 1. Whether the move would be in the child's best |
| someone who may have broken your heart. So, a | | | | interest. |
| new opportunity and a new chance to build a new life | | | | 2. Whether it is feasible for your former spouse to |
| in a new state with new friends sounds great. Even | | | | make a similar move to the same state. |
| Newsweek lists the ten best cities to go live in. You | | | | 3. Whether your move involves an economic hardship |
| might be thinking that you'll go to the web looking for | | | | or necessity. (e.g. a job offer). |
| info sites detailing how to build a healthy home. Now, | | | | 4. Whether your move involves a new marriage to |
| maybe you decided your destiny is to live with the | | | | someone who lives in the state where you're moving. |
| stars under the shining lights of Hollywood. And well, | | | | 5. Whether you're moving for health and medical |
| hey at least the weather is nicer, the water is clean | | | | reasons. |
| and the sand is soft. Right? But what about your | | | | 6. Whether your move will negatively impact the |
| fantastic plans to leave the country? If you plan on | | | | relationship between the child and your x. |
| taking the kids anywhere out of the country or even | | | | 7. Whether your former spouse has a good faith |
| out of the state, here's what you need to consider. | | | | reason for opposing the move. |
| Planning is everything. | | | | There's one part of this that really isn't understood by |
| First, leaving with your kids without permission from | | | | most parents, is the "Best Interest Test". This test is |
| your x spouse, is against the law. In fact, it's a serious | | | | the way the Courts try to understand the effect that |
| felony called "Parental Kidnapping". Most attorneys | | | | the move may have on any of your family |
| know very well that the FBI works in cooperation with | | | | relationships. In determining what the child needs most, |
| local law enforcement agencies to ensure that | | | | the Courts generally look at many things. For example, |
| parental kidnappers are brought to justice. They are | | | | whether your move will hurt your child's ties to your |
| arrested. They are prosecuted. And they are sent to | | | | former spouse and the community. These reasons are |
| prison. Unfortunately, some parents think more with | | | | generally looked at by the Court when those ties are |
| their heart than their minds. The result? A tragedy for | | | | very strong. So if your child has a hard time getting |
| everyone. Parents--no matter how good their | | | | along with your former spouse (and the blame is not |
| intentions-- who get arrested for kidnapping their own | | | | attributed to you) then those possibilities are not |
| children, have to hire a criminal defense lawyer. But | | | | weighed as heavily. |
| wait--that's money that could be better spent | | | | Sample Case. |
| improving your life. Not exactly what you had in mind. | | | | If your parents and your former spouse's parents are |
| So how do you take your children legally without | | | | also in New York and you're planning on moving to |
| hassles and headaches? | | | | New Jersey, then it's also likely that your children will |
| What does the law say? | | | | not see their grandparents as much as they would |
| First, if possible, get permission. If asked nicely, maybe | | | | have in the past. The quality of the parental relationship |
| your x-spouse would agree to give you sole custody | | | | usually suffers as a result of moving. The same is true |
| of your child and eliminate the need to proceed to | | | | of your child's relationship with their grandparents. If |
| Court. If you obtain sole custody this way, you do not | | | | your child has a hard time getting along with their |
| need to read on because you are almost home. | | | | grandparents (and the Court decides is not your fault) |
| However, if that is not possible then your former | | | | then you have a better case for getting Court |
| spouse may agree on a joint custody agreement with | | | | approval for the move. However, most judges usually |
| a passport waiver clause. Such a clause would allow | | | | have enough experience to know when the former |
| you to apply for a passport on behalf of your child | | | | spouses are trying to hurt each other by proposing or |
| without the need to consult with your former spouse, | | | | opposing a residential move. Generally, although a |
| and thereby giving you the option of going abroad on | | | | Court may deny you of the right to move with the |
| vacation, with your child - in peace. However, if your | | | | kids, most "good faith requests" are seldom denied. |
| mission is to live with you child permanently out of | | | | In the end, it all works out. |
| state, the custody agreement needs to say that-- | | | | Ultimately, it's the Courts who determine, with the help |
| exactly and clearly. In New York, the law says that | | | | of your lawyer, (and based on all of the proof you |
| barring parental permission, a spouse or a custodial | | | | have) whether you have proven that the welfare of |
| parent may take the children out of the state by Court | | | | your child will not be hurt by a move. |