| Sometimes the phrase "child custody battle" is very | | | | coming up with various custody arrangements. Be |
| appropriate. A divorced parent can feel like he/she is | | | | flexible about times when your ex can see the |
| actually fighting a war with a former spouse about | | | | kids--this is impressive to the judge and the court |
| their custody agreement. The process can be tiring, | | | | because you are fair and level-headed and obviously |
| stressful, long, and complicated. And, if the parents | | | | acting in the best interest of the child. You want to |
| have strong disagreements, it can be very tiring, very | | | | think about and include any provisions that you want |
| stressful, very long and very complicated. However, no | | | | included in the agreement. Provisions are some rules |
| matter how difficult your situation, there are some | | | | that you want your ex to abide by--like not getting |
| things you can do to bring peace to and win your child | | | | your child a passport without your knowledge, etc. This |
| custody battle. Here are three suggestions. | | | | type of preparation is important for your agreement |
| 1. Only worry about what you can control. This can be | | | | and is also important for winning in court. If you have |
| very difficult advice to follow--but it is essential if you | | | | documents and plans that you present to the judge, |
| want to survive your custody battle. However much | | | | your opinion will be listened to and most likely accepted. |
| you want to change your ex's actions...you can't. | | | | 3. Remember the purpose. It is easy to get caught up |
| There's no way around that. The only thing you can | | | | in the battle part of child custody battle and forget |
| control are your own actions. So, focus on those. Don't | | | | about the child. Always remember that you are trying |
| think about or worry about what your ex is doing. | | | | to do things in the best interest of your children. Don't |
| Work on coming up with the child custody agreement | | | | bash and bad mouth the children's other parent in front |
| that you want the court or your ex to accept. When | | | | of them--even if the other parent is doing it to you. |
| your ex purposefully does things to annoy you--ignore | | | | Allow your children to build relationships with both |
| them and don't react. If your ex is doing things like | | | | parents--unless, of course, it is dangerous for the |
| dropping off or picking up the children late, don't make | | | | children to be around the other parent. This is good for |
| a big scene, rather calmly tell you ex that you are | | | | you because it will help you get through the tough |
| keeping records of all of this to show to the | | | | times, and if you sincerely want this it will show through |
| judge--and then do just that. And, when you're with | | | | in court or mediation and it will help you win. |
| your children don't waste time trying to get information | | | | It can be comforting for divorced parents to know that |
| about your ex. Focus on spending quality time with | | | | most battles come to an end--and their's can too. |
| your kids and enjoying them. | | | | Focus on the things that you can control, come up with |
| 2. Be prepared. Along with that center of calm that | | | | your plan and be prepared, and remember why you're |
| you've created, you also want to bring a stellar | | | | doing all of this. Then you will have a victory in your |
| custody agreement into court. Spend some time | | | | child custody battle. |